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November 30, 2002
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A Texan, a Frenchman and an Israeli

A Texan, a Frenchman and an Israeli are on a plane flying over the Pacific Ocean when the engines stop functioning. The plane crash lands on a Pacific Island and the three are immediately captured by a tribe of cannibals and taken to their village.

The Chief tells the three captives that these cannibals are civilized and they have a custom on their island that before they eat anyone, they grant that person his or her last wishes--no matter what they are.

He asks the Texan, "What is your last wish?" The Texan replies: "I want a 2 inch thick steak with all thetrimmings, Cajun fries and a case of Budweiser Beer." The Chief motions to some of his tribesmen who immediately runs into the jungle and come back with the steak, the fries and the beer. The Texan eats his meal and he is thrown in the cooking pot.

The Frenchman is asked: "What is your last wish?" He replies: "I would like a case of Dom Perignon and I would also like a big plate of escargots cooked in the French manner." The Chief motions to his tribesmen who immediately rushes off into the jungle and bring back everything the Frenchman asked for. He eats and drinks his fill, and he is then thrown in the cooking pot.

The Chief turns to the Israeli and asks, "And what is your wish?" The Israeli looks the Chief squarely in the eyes and replies: "I want you to kick me as hard as you can." The Chief is bewildered and asks the Israeli again, only to receive the same reply. "I want you to kick me as hard as you can."

The Chief shrugs his shoulders, asks the Israeli to turn around, and kicks him as hard as he can. With that, the Israeli pulls out a gun and kills the Chief and all of the other cannibals. The Texan and the Frenchman get out of the pot, look at the Israeli and say: "If you had that gun why did not you do anything sooner?"

The Israeli replies: "What? And risk being condemned by the UN, the European Union, and the US State Department for overreacting to insufficient provocation?"

Posted by David Melle at November 30, 2002 11:57 AM
Comments

I don't get it. (don't reply to this message)

Posted by: Jamie on December 1, 2002 06:06 PM

I don't get it. (don't reply to this message)

Posted by: Jamie on December 1, 2002 06:06 PM

Ok, so the isreali kills ALL of the other cannibals. Hmmmmm..... I think that's the problem here

Posted by: seán on January 18, 2003 10:57 AM

Sean,

The original problem is that the cannibals wanted to kill and eat the Israeli.

The cannibals should realise that under those circumstances, Israelis will fight back.

Fighting back is a natural reaction, since no one really wants to be literally eaten or killed.

But if Israelis are being murdered, people like you don't give them the right to defend themselves against cannibals or murderers from the Palestinian Islamic Jihad and Arafat's Al-Aksa brigades.

It doesn't really matter - because the Israelis will kill the cannibals and the Islamic terrorists if that's what needed to survive.

Posted by: David Melle on January 18, 2003 11:42 AM

The israeli takes too much cautions: there´s no CNN or BBC correspondants in Cannibaland: no need to be Kicked.
(Last hour news: Pres. Bush is planning to bomb cannibals)

Posted by: Xavier on March 28, 2003 06:07 AM

In the long run, the Israeli is still stranded on the island with the Frenchman. Surely this is a fate worse than death; did he run out of bullets?

Posted by: Steve on March 28, 2003 12:23 PM

In the long run, the Israeli is still stranded on the island with the Frenchman. Surely this is a fate worse than death; did he run out of bullets?

Posted by: Steve on March 28, 2003 12:24 PM

good one steve lmao

Posted by: max on July 6, 2003 10:32 PM

bwahahaha!!!

You have any more jokes like that?

Posted by: Rick on October 20, 2003 09:36 PM

bwahahaha!!!

You have any more jokes like that?

Posted by: Rick on October 20, 2003 09:37 PM

I'm a little miffed that it involved a texan. President Bush is a texan.

Posted by: George A. Booth on January 9, 2005 11:10 AM

This is so true.. and I love the range of comments: one stating that Israel over-reacted and one that Israel didn't even need the provocation ... anyway... I loved this joke...

Posted by: Yasha on October 8, 2006 07:07 PM
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(According to digits.com)